seems today was so slow, woke up in a bad mood, had a dream but yet i cant remember what it was, all i remember was the feeling of untrust and paranoia, i dont know of what or who... i cant explain much. All i feel is everything is so slow, even when i was driving going to my other job, i felt like my consciousness is not all there, im goin 70mph but yet it seem im going too slow, is this depression?? i hope not...
Maybe this is just one of the times when i feel like its time to crawl in my small black hole and be alone for awhile. I dont know what to do really, i just took the day wondering but yet about nothing. I was like spaced out, i felt exhausted about everything : (. Maybe im depressed i just dont know it. The last time i felt like this was a long time ago, everything to me was uncertain, it felt like all the emotion was drained out of me, i didnt care about anything, i felt numb inside. It was the time when my motto was " FUCK EVERYONE ", but i dont get why im getting this now?!. Should i tend to figure things out or leave it alone and wait til' it pass by?!. I feel i cant trust anyone..
While being at work I felt the clock was going really slow , every seconds seems longer. It felt it was stopping whenever im not looking at it. Every little thing irritates me, a simple ring of the phone bugs the shit out of me. Towards the end of my shift it felt forever... but i was glad i was off. I wasnt really thrilled working tonight, But gotta work. It seem i hate everything around me. Hmmm, i dont know why i get this feeling, tired? depressed? mentally exhausted?
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