When you feel everything is coming to an end... then what?

Its been almost a month or so now, been fighting for something i cant let go of. Why do i feel like its almost the end, but yet i'm still not certain. Even though the situation is becoming a little bit easier to bare, why am i still dwelling on doubt? Why do i feel like this? Why is everything still a blur.
There's just no words to describe how i felt for awhile now.... When at first i know what im fighting for? Even though people tell me its time to let go, yet im still holding on.. But what's so different now? When things are getting better, isn't it supposed to be less pain to bare? less stress? less things to think about? Then what is goin on? Am i giving up? Am i close to the end? Am i starting to feel numb? I dont even know which one is the truth and which one is not, Everything is so confusing. When there is alot of opportunity to grab infront of me, why can't i make myself to do so. This all feels like a long and painful journey, I just hope all of this got something good at the end of this road waiting for me. I hope all this is just a test and to make me a stronger person. I hope all this got a reason. I know that i did things which i can't take back. Maybe i do deserve all these.